“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
Don’t ever let someone tell you there is something wrong with you if you are grieving. You are walking through a valley, and the shadows can look foreboding and cold. Yet, if you keep walking, you will emerge. Or, to use an analogy from the Old Testament:
It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure (Eccles. 7:2–4).
A “sad face is good for the heart,” not all the time, but when it is the only honest response to a genuine loss. To paste on a false smile may make others more comfortable (and that’s why they don’t want you to grieve), but it may only prolong your grief. It is best for your face to be honest with your heart, thus keeping you honest with the people in your life. Our faces are our presentations of ourselves to the world of people around us. Our faces cry and whisper and shout; they plead and they query and they gift. Some people see the sad face of mourners and move in with compassion, “suffering with” the mourner. This is so right and so good. Others hope the mourner will smile, even if forced, because it is uncomfortable being around a sad person. This is disrespectful and selfish.
God knows that we will not always live in the house of mourning, but when we do mourn we need to spend time in that house, learn what must be learned there, and come out stronger for it. When Jesus said “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted,” he was telling us that because loss is inevitable in the kind of world we live in, so is mourning; but so also is the promise of God’s restoration.
This makes sense. When the worst happens, you go into “a house of mourning.” That is where you live for a season. No one can say exactly how long that season is, but that’s okay, because you know that things will change, and you will move out of that house. It is not your permanent address, though you will have some grief for years, or perhaps the rest of your life.
“With you a part of me has past away…”
Thinking of you and your family. The loss of your precious daughter residing in many hearts.
Anne Owens
thank you so much, Anne; means a lot
Mel
These thoughts are comforting for me because I have seen you walking about church with such a “sad” face and it has concerned me. I am so glad to see and hear from you in the pulpit again. God bless you..
Thank you, Marty. Doing okay. Sometimes just pensive. Lots always to ponder!
Dear Pastor Lawrenz,
Thank you for your wise words regarding mourning. You are correct in saying we have to spend time in that house and hopefully come out the stronger for it. In January of last year the Lord called our 13 year old daughter Shelby home. Fortunately she had given her life to the Lord at age 10 and was a strong witness for the Lord. Even a year later we are hearing from people who were positively impacted by her witness. Through the grace of the Lord we been able to move from the house of mourning but a part of you stays in that house and always will until we are reunited with our loved one. One thing that has brought me comfort is knowing that our God is also a Father who has suffered the loss of a child and when I cry out to Him in grief He understands perfectly what I am going through. I will pray for you and your family and if it is any comfort know that you are not alone on this journey. God bless you.
Oh, Brian. I am so so sorry about the loss of your young daughter. There is something so wonderful about a father/daughter relationship, and so the loss is so great. I am glad you are hanging onto God through this. I’m sure you are looking at life differently, and will be able to support others going through extreme loss.
Mel
No two grieve the same way or same lengt of time
Love helps so reach out
True. So true! Thanks, Raymond.
The Comments here are just the best
A Church is love demonstrated however many say that theology is needed to protect us
he would say this that love is demonstrated
went to that cross
Gospel I see
Mel, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in 2001 and sometimes my heart visits the house when I least expect it. Doug Schoen was such a comfort at the time. I gained so much insight from your book “Life After Grief”. I have shared your book many times with others who have lost loved ones. It is scripturally based and was a blessing to me.
Thank you so much, Sandra.
And I am glad the book has been helpful.
Mel